Monday, October 12, 2009

It's always someone else's fault...

Dear readers,

I urge to express my opinion on what I think is the most spread attitude in the world. I notice everyday that people (unfortunately including myself) tend to look for external causes of unpleasant events and situations. It is a pervasive phenomenon: in politics, in family, at work, basically everywhere!

That's not the way it should be. We should try to look at ourselves first, and consider our share of responsibility in bad situations. This doesn't mean that we are the sole responsibles: that would be the opposite extreme. But, what if we recognize that we are, to some extent, contributing to what we don't hesitate to blame? Even if we are not directly responsible of some mistakes, we can never be sure that we did not contribute (even minimally) to them.

One common example, which I believe this kind of intolerance spans from, is family. Family is often the sandbox of intolerance where members train themselves to blame each others. The first reaction when something wrong happens is to find the culprit... Why we don't just try first to calm down and find a solution by assuming that we are all equally responsible for what happened. After all, one could say: if you did not cause the problem, at least you did nothing to avoid it!

Do I have a cure for this disease? Yes, I do. Well, it's very simple measure but hard to put in practice. It needs a lot of effort and good will. We must change attitude towards people near us. We need to admit that we are responsible in a way or another and we need to help each other to find a solution. We need to step back and change perspective and attitude: from inquisition to understanding.

Don't get me wrong. This does not mean that we have to forgive who committed wrong actions or crimes. It's just that we should try not jumping at conclusions that have as the only goal to save ourselves. We are all in the same boat!

Finally, I write this because I realize that it is this attitude (a kind of  unjustified rage against the others) that is causing most of the problems I had, have (and will have) in my life. We cannot change the world if we don't change ourselves first. The first step is admit and take our responsibilities. The next step... I don't know. Maybe this would be just enough. 

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